Romance is Essential
“How did God romance you as a little girl? How does He romance you now?”
This was a question our single moms support group recently read and discussed from the book we’re studying called Captivating (by Stasi and John Eldredge.) I just happened to be reading this particular chapter while I was in Wyoming in October for a work/retreat trip.
Suddenly I was a little girl again watching The Black Stallion movie for the first time and feeling my heart ignited with a love for horses. There was something about this animal that was wild and dangerous and unapproachable, yet beautiful and noble and good, that completely captivated me. I started reading all the horse books I could get my hands on. I drew pictures of horses, I learned about their anatomy, I dreamt about them, and I begged my parents incessantly to get me a horse. I was even willing to walk a mile, in the dead of winter, to a farm down the road where they would let me pet their horses and clean their stalls for free!
My love for horses never waned. I went to a college that offered Equestrian studies and ended up working for a horse magazine. As an adult, one of my favorite movies was The Horse Whisperer, a redemptive story about a girl and her horse who were both seriously wounded in a bad accident. The story took place in the mountains of Montana and I think I must have watched it about 25 times. There was something about the beauty and majesty of the horses and the mountains that just inspired my soul.
Years later, when I went through my divorce and was struggling with grief and loneliness as a single parent, it was my horse that provided much-needed therapy. My son and I would get away to the quiet farm in Kentucky where I kept him and all the chaos and grief seemed to fade away as we brushed him and he nuzzled our heads, and I rode him over jumps in the beautiful outdoor arena.
Then just last summer, when I was weary from months of COVID lockdown and feeling trapped in our suburban home, unable to even take a riding lesson because it wasn’t an “essential” activity, God set an opportunity in my lap. He knew exactly what my soul needed and he set up a retreat for me in the mountains of Wyoming to spend a month on a beautiful ranch, caring for their horses and getting to go on trail rides for hours each weekend with a great new friend.
Reflecting on all of this, it’s so clear that God has romanced me all my life with horses. I didn’t always realize that’s what he was doing, but he was always pursuing me; wooing my heart, drawing me to him with the things he had wired me to love so he could heal and restore me. He used the nature of horses to give me a glimpse of his own character; powerful, dangerous, and beautiful, yet surprising gentle when we approach him with awe and reverence, as a little child. He used the adventure of jumping horses to teach me more about being on an adventure with him; that I must take risks and trust, letting go of control and keeping my eyes up to fully experience the joy, exhilaration and freedom he has for me. And he used the gentleness and companionship of horses to heal my heart during seasons when I’ve been hurting or weary or feeling alone.
The bottom line is, romance is essential to our soul. Without romance, any relationship-especially a relationship with God-is uninspiring. It’s strictly about duty and won’t be enough to keep us going in difficult times. In fact, as Stasi Eldredge emphasizes in her book, “To be spiritual is to be in a romance with God.”
Friends, we don’t need a man to experience great romance. Yes, my new husband does a great job of loving and romancing my heart. But ultimately, even he can’t fill that deep desire in me to be seen, known and pursued by the lover of my soul. Only God can.
How has God romanced you? How is he still romancing you today?